Words I Need to Say

10:38 am by

Today is my birthday, and through today I learned A LOT of things.

Although I learned most of them through my 16 years, I learned a lot new ones today!

I woke up to the most amazing, lovely blog post from my Mother! It was everything a 16 year old should hear from the most inspiring person in their lives. If I had to pick the most important lesson I’ve learned that I continue to learn every day it would have to be that my Mother is the most inspiring Woman in my life. And I don’t say that enough. I don’t say half the stuff she should hear enough. She’s my best friend. Without her, I’m lost. She’s the most amazing person I could’ve asked for. I wouldn’t be who I am without her. Without her trust in me. Without her belief in me. I wouldn’t be me.

Two years ago I was introduced to my “Step”, “Bonus”, whatever name you want to use, Mom. There’s a lot of things I could say about this woman… How she’s funny, and nice, and sweet, and inspiring, and pretty, and the best anyone could’ve asked for. I don’t think I’ve ever said this, and even if I had, I don’t say it enough, but I aspire to be who she is. She has made my life SO MUCH better. I could continue on for hours about her. She’s an amazing person. And anyone who thinks differently can come talk to me. {I got your back Mumsie ;)}

I think every little girl dreams of having a sister. I know I did. And two years ago, I got one. My ‘little’ sister, younger by a hundred and 11 days, is a VERY awesome young Lady! Although we fight a lot, and are completely different people, we are the best match for each other. We keep each other going. Without her, I wouldn’t be where I am. I wouldn’t be as strong as I am. I wouldn’t have the courage I do to be myself without her.

I think we all look back on our childhood and cringe at how annoying we were, and how bratty we used to be. I know I do. And when I look back I think of two people I probably annoyed the most and that would’ve been my two older Brothers. I think with every brother-sister relationship there’s always unnecessary roughness. And with me and my Brothers there definitely was. As the younger sibling, and the only girl, I tried to impress my Brothers a lot. But I can tell you, of all the impressions I made on my Brothers, I doubt many of them were good. But there are two ways you can deal with that feeling, the feeling of knowing the people you try to impress the most just find you annoying, you can let it destroy you and spend all your time trying to do what you think they like or think is cool, or, you can be you. There’s nothing more impressive.

I’ve found that it’s better to be respected than impressive.

Through everything mean they’ve ever done to me, it’s bettered me. I’m stronger for it. They ignored me a lot. Back then I hated them for it. But now, I’m so happy they did. It helped me learn how to entertain myself. Be independent. Not need anyone to tell me how to do everything. They treated me like a little sister, but they treated me right. I don’t get to say this enough but, of all the times I’ve screamed “I hate you!” At them, I love them to death. Thanks to them, I had the best childhood. I had someone I could depend on. I’ve learned from their mistakes.

I have a mile long list that I could go down of people who have molded me to become who I am, and believe me, if I could and people still read it, I would. But there’s just a couple more people that I have to make a few paragraphs about.

Two being my amazing Aunts. They’ve given me so much. More than I could’ve asked for. They’ve given me strength, courage, pride, hope, confidence, and love. They’ve supported me through everything, and continue to, to this day. What else can I say about these Women? They’re amazing. They’ve made me who I am for sure. Without them, I wouldn’t be half of who I am.

For as far back as my memories go, I remember being a Daddy’s girl. I remember watching TV curled up in his lap, I remember sitting in his office chair with his headset on pretending to be him, I remember the dates he used to take me on, I remember having conversations about how I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 16. Or in his version 60. I’m his ‘Mini Me’, in more than the sense of looks. I’m his Baby Girl, Squirt, or Peanut. Whatever name he seems to think of that day. And yeah, I could say “I’m 16. I’m too old for all that.” But I think everyone’s in too much of a rush to grow up. And you’re never too old to be your Dad’s little girl. That don’t go away with age. Believe me. I’ve learned. 😉

Last but not least, my Grandma. Today was my first birthday that I’ve not had her around for. She and I were the best of friends. I lost her last year. Today, while we were having lunch I began to hear one of the songs we played at her funeral over the radio. After the song ended I could no longer hear the radio at all. To me, that was her saying hello. Letting me know she was there. I find myself doing things, or saying things that I picked up from her. Habits that I can’t seem to break. Habits I don’t want to break. I miss you Grandma. I love you and I know you’re here with me.

I could continue on about all the people listed above, but I have to get to sleep. I just wanna make sure that even though I don’t say it that often, I love each and every one of you more than you know. You’re the reason I am who I am.

Thank you.

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