Fears of Social Awkwardness

Today, instead of talking about doing the same things over and over, I thought I’d talk about getting over my social awkwardness.

When I was younger, 8 or so, I was pretty social. I had lots of friends and was around a lot of people on a regular basis. But as I got older I strayed away from taking all the social opportunities I got. We moved from my hometown when I was 9 and I lost most of the friends I had, and when we moved I began to make friends just to have moved again.

By the time we moved for the second time I gave up on making friends. It seemed so unrealistic to be able to make friends, much less keep friends. Over time I grew to the point where every time the subject of ‘Meeting people’ or ‘Making friends’ came up I got mad. For a long time I thought it was because people were making fun of me for not having friends, or thought less of me for not being around as many people as most kids my age were. But over time I realized it wasn’t other people’s opinions that made me mad, it was mine. My stubbornness to not try and meet people, my opinions on how having friends would never last – that’s what made me mad. I was mad at myself for not taking the chances I was given for friendship due to my closed mind or my fear of losing them later on.

When I was 13 I had a friend, a good friend. We still sometimes talk. And through that friendship I learned that it was good to have friends. It wasn’t such a horrible thing I’d always made it up to be. It was fun to be able to relate to someone my age about my likes and dislikes.

I moved again last year and instead of trying to make loads of friends, I passed up almost any and all social advantages I was given. The past few months I’ve wanted to get a job and one of the main reasons I was reluctant was because of the social responsibilities it entailed. So when my Mom came up with the idea for me to work at the gym I was all for it despite the social parts that I feared.

I think that’s when you know you really want something. When you do it despite your fears.

The first few days of work I struggled to say a “Good morning,” or a “How are you?” but now it’s become such a normal thing. A big part of what made it easy was the fact I genuinely do care if the people at that gym had good mornings or if they were doing good.

I hope you all enjoyed this blog post! Talk to you next time!

2 thoughts on “Fears of Social Awkwardness”

  1. I’m proud of you Mallory! You’ve grown up into a beautiful, intelligent, young lady! It’s hard to believe my little cousin is all grown up, lol. Congrats on your job, and Happy Sweet Sixteen!! Love you!!

  2. Great blog post, Mallory! Reading that took me right back to my life at your age….I can so relate. As you may or may not know, I’ve moved 29 times and attended 16—yes, 16!—schools before I graduated college! Many school years were split between two, or even three, different schools. As you’re familiar, every move entailed making new friends in our subdivision, at church, and also at school! New house, new bedroom, new bus drivers, new teachers, new Sunday school teachers—new everything…oh yea…new bullies….every time.

    I was angry. Very angry. I was sick of it. I was angry at my dad for following a job that made us have to move all of the time. I was angry at my mom for supporting him (of course she was going to support her husband!). I was angry at my “little brother,” well….because he was my little brother. ha.

    I say all of that to say that you’re making some really great choices—-choosing to see the good around you. Choosing to be proactive and go for what you want, instead of blaming everyone else and circumstances. Forcing yourself out of those mindsets is going to make you SOAR!

    Now? I can see ALL of the friends I made through the years! I mean, I have FaceBook just so I can keep up with everyones’ lives! There’s no way I could by phone….I have too many friends because of all of those moves!

    Not much intimidates me now. You can plop me smack dab in the middle of any city and I’ll find my way out. I know how to do so many things and I’ve never met a stranger….I can get to know anyone and see good in most. Those strengths came from my experiences of moving around so much. What I couldn’t see happening then, God could. Although I could’ve handled a little less moving, I now appreciate the experiences. I’ve seen so many places. There’s still some negatives, but I choose not to focus on those. Every life has different experiences for different reasons.

    I’m SO PROUD of you and watch for your updates every day! You’re such a smart, beautiful young lady with everything going for you! Keep up the great work, and attitude! Love you!

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